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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842488">watchful eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Vinland Saga (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brother/Brother Incest, M/M, POV Outsider, Sibling Incest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:01:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842488</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Atli's son listens in on a conversation.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Torgrim/Atli (Vinland Saga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>watchful eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another one in the fix-it universe. Atli's kids are explored a bit in <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753010">these</a> <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22001965">two</a> fics, but the only important thing is that this is the middle one, Palni. I figure he's 15 here, and the other two are 16 and 14.</p><p>(mention of possible sexual abuse, nothing actually happening)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
"—now." Palni's dad is speaking inside the shed as he comes up on it. It's an old structure, one that housed chickens for a year or so when he was a kid, but it was never built with that in mind and the chickens didn't do well. It's tall enough for humans to go inside, and it must be wide enough for two grown men to fit, because Palni's dad doesn't go anywhere that isn't built for two. "Don't block me. We're in the middle of something."</p><p>"It's been months. I know it's been months. I know what happens."</p><p>"We're in our fifties. Aren't there enough ways to fill the time?"</p><p>"You /know/ how you get. You're acting as if you can get by without it."</p><p>His dad's voice is short, a little quavery, sounding like it's about to be cut off any second. "You never used to treat me like I /needed/ it."</p><p>"Dad," Palni says, raising his voice, maybe just because he doesn't like hearing his own father speak like that. "You in there?"</p><p>"Yes," comes his dad's voice, after a short pause. "Palni? What is it?"</p><p>Palni opens the door all the way. His uncle's not-quite blocking his father from view in the back. "Mum says you're going to forget the fence."</p><p>"I'm about to start on it." From the back comes the dull clatter of wood on wood. "Come on, let me by." His father emerges, stooping under Uncle Torgrim's shoulder. When he lifts his head he looks tired.</p><p>"No, you're about to forget it." Palni doesn't like it when his uncle takes his dad by the arm like that. "Get inside. The boy can take care of it. He's old enough to swing a hammer."</p><p>"That spot's right where the old ram likes to scratch himself. He doesn't know how to mend something heavy-use like that. I can barely keep up with it."</p><p>"You've been on your feet all day. It'll hold another day or two."</p><p>"I'll show him how," Palni's dad says, talking only to his brother. "And you'll have one thing less to complain about next time, hm?"</p><p>"/I'll/ show him," says Uncle Torgrim right back. Talking only to his brother.</p><p>"You?" Palni can't hide his surprise. His uncle doesn't avoid him, exactly, but it's rare for him to volunteer to spend time with anyone besides Dad. Much less without Dad there.</p><p>His uncle shoots him a half-glare. "Who d'you think taught him?"</p><p>"Our dad taught us both," Dad reminds him.</p><p>"And you watched me until you got it right. Quit arguing and go get some rest."</p><p>His dad doesn't talk about his own dad much. /Their/ dad. It's mostly the two of them, whenever they mention the past. Like they grew up alone together.</p><p>It's not like Palni dislikes his uncle. When he was little, he thought the crazy side was the normal one. The one that played with him like they were the same age. It's kind of sad when he's like that these days, because there's no one left in the house to play with, and not all the parents in town like having him around their kids. He tries to follow Dad sometimes, but usually it's Mum who has to keep him busy during the day. He's tall enough to hang laundry and things like that, so he's more helpful than a real kid would be. As long as he feels like being good.</p><p>But when he's normal, Uncle Torgrim isn't as short with them as he used to be when they were small. He knows how to do things as well as Dad does; and he's been sailing and fought in England. Which Dad's done too, but he doesn't like telling stories about it unless Uncle Torgrim's urging him to join in about something. Then he'll talk for a little while, a small grin on his face the only remnant of whoever he used to be before he was Palni's dad. The stories are strangely bloodless, but they're not half bad to listen to.</p><p>"You'd better get inside, Dad," Palni says now. "Uncle Torgrim's right. I'm old enough to know how. He can teach me fine."</p><p>"See!" His uncle's triumphant, squeezing an arm a little tighter round Dad. "Even the kids can tell. Go lie down. That's an order. Even if you don't sleep it'll be some rest. Good for your body."</p><p>"It's so dull being alone in the house," Dad complains. But softly.</p><p>"Just think how Mum's going to feel when Jutta's married," Palni says. Two pairs of eyes turn back to him, and he almost wishes he hadn't. His uncle can be funny about Mum sometimes, and Jutta's his favorite after Dad.</p><p>"She's plenty of work to do," Dad says at the same time Uncle Torgrim says, "She won't be married for years yet."</p><p>"Don't worry about your mother," Dad resumes. "She has ways of spending her time. And your sister won't be going far." With a quick glance at his brother that all three of them can feel in the air: "You shouldn't talk as if she's being sent away. There are plenty of prospects in the village. For all three of you."</p><p>Dad hasn't left the village since Palni was small. Uncle Torgrim talks all the time about travel and sailing and all the sights he's seen—lots of nice buildings, mostly in the process of being destroyed—but it's him keeping Dad where he is. He brags, too, about how neither of them ever got any battle scars on their back. The scars on Dad's back and neck are from something else. Nobody will talk about it, but obviously he pissed off the wrong person and had a narrow escape. Maybe Uncle Torgrim's worried there are still people out there looking for him, after all these years.</p><p>"I'm just bullshitting." Palni looks from one to the other, from his father's anxious face to his uncle's truculent one. "Anyway, she might move her husband in with us."</p><p>His dad /Hrmm/s in a tone that says he's really thinking that one over. This time Uncle Torgrim gives him a slight push.</p><p>"Atli, come on, the boy's joking. Get yourself inside."</p><p>"I'm joking, Dad." Palni opens the door behind him wide again, surprised by how close the air's gotten even with it half open. He must be blocking the air flow. "I'll see you in a few, then? At the hole in the fence?"</p><p>"Yeah," his uncle answers, his attention already shifting back to Dad. "Sure. Few minutes."</p><p>Palni takes ten paces forward, then doubles back on silent feet to find out how long he'll really be waiting.</p><p>What exactly Uncle Torgrim thinks of him isn't any of his business—and it changes too often to be sure of it. His dad, though, must think he's raised some pretty rock-stupid kids, and that does rankle a bit. Talking to Palni with a hand across his brother's chest like it's pitch black inside the shed.</p><p>As if everyone in the house doesn't know what they do to each other when they're alone.</p><p>Jutta knew first. They've never spoken about it, but they don't need to. He can tell. Hallwarth he thinks might've walked in on them; there were a few days, a while back, where his little brother struggled to meet their father's eyes, turning away awkwardly when he came into the house and sitting at a slight angle during meals.</p><p>As for Palni, he was thirteen when he found out his father used to be the best cocksucker in Denmark, but doesn't practice much anymore.</p><p>"Not in the whole North Sea?" his dad asked, laughing.</p><p>"If you'd like me to go back and check—"</p><p>Then they noticed him, and got quieter.</p><p>That's what comes of being around them when they can't see you. You learn too much. They don't seem to have noticed how everyone announces themselves loudly now. Or they might think it's because Mum's eyesight is going a bit, but she's not yet forty and it's not enough to worry over.</p><p>Once last year a friend of his asked Palni if it's true that his dad and uncle share his mum. In small villages like this one everybody's your friend if they were born within the same few years. All the boys his age learned about dirty jokes around the same time. Some of them behind Palni's back, apparently.</p><p>He thought of sharing stories about what their family's actually like behind closed doors. About looking up at supper and seeing your uncle /longing/ for your dad, who's doing his best to keep his head down as he eats. For all they've spent the whole day together. About that time his dad was telling them a story before bed, just the usual ritual when they were kids, and Uncle Torgrim jumped up and went out without a word. Right into the cold fall air, the door slamming behind him. And it wasn't his mum who stumbled through the rest of the story, then fidgeted for a minute before mumbling an excuse and following. Their mum put the three of them to bed without a word, and then sat up by the fire, her face perfectly calm in the flashes of its light, until Dad came back.</p><p>"Well?"</p><p>Palni could just barely see his father cast a look over to where he was lying between his brother and sister. All of them asleep, or looking like it.</p><p>"He says he'll come in later." Even back then, Palni could tell it wasn't an answer to his mother's question. "Can't get him to—but I just hate to leave him out there. I dunno, maybe I'd better drag him back."</p><p>"If you're in here," his mother said, rising up very tall from where she'd been waiting, "he'll come."</p><p>His father's shadow stood still on the wall for half a minute or so before following quietly to bed.</p><p>The cold air and slamming doors didn't make it easy to get to sleep. And Palni didn't like thinking about his uncle out there at night, even with all the strange things he does. But his mother was right. Uncle Torgrim always comes back to where Dad is. When he woke up that morning, his uncle was there, and that night when Palni lifted his eyes up nervously during his bedtime story, Uncle Torgrim was half-listening from his chair the way he always did before. He never stormed out again.</p><p>Sometimes his uncle gets really angry when you remind him about the things he likes when he's having his turns. Back then, Palni thought maybe Uncle Torgrim was angry because he likes Dad's stories so much when he's acting like a kid. But really he was probably wishing it was him and Dad in their own house with their own kids.</p><p>It's funny, not being sure if Dad thinks about that too.</p><p>He's never said anything about it. At first he thought about asking, or telling one of his friends. But life keeps on moving every day that he doesn't say anything. He can't really imagine the first moment after asking Dad, /Why are you and your brother like that?/ Much less the rest of his life.</p><p>Mum knows, of course. She was waiting that night to see if they'd come back at all. It wouldn't be letting her know she's got competition. She's made up her mind.</p><p>And anyway. On top of everything else, it's his dad who lets a crazy man do things to him. Anyone who finds out is going to wonder if it runs in the family. </p><p>"You've just come back to yourself," his dad says inside the shed, after they've waited for Palni to get out of earshot. "I have to get used to you again. It takes me weeks, when we can't do anything. Keeping myself from wanting you."</p><p>"Maybe you'd better do what you want," Uncle Torgrim says. "Wasted few months for everyone, if you don't."</p><p>"No," Dad says, short and sharp. "You have no idea what you're asking."</p><p>"Ignore me," Uncle Torgrim says, his voice soft now. "I'm off my head as usual."</p><p>"If anyone ever tried—don't make me /think/ about these things!" His dad's voice lowers. "Just wait. You know you'll have me eventually."</p><p>"Everything's eventual now, eh?"</p><p>"What do you expect me to do about it?" </p><p>"Nothing. Nothing." His uncle's placating, that voice he uses when he gives in to Dad. As if Dad's actually going to get angry at him. "I've forgotten how to talk sense. Ignore me."</p><p>"Don't talk like that about yourself. Don't..."</p><p>There's a silence inside the shed. Palni doesn't care to think about what it means. Instead he walks away, still as quietly as he can manage. No point sneaking off for a snack or a chat with the other boys. He won't have to wait long for his uncle this time.</p><p>He doesn't really understand them all the way. Not even his dad. Something tells him they don't mind that much, and it doesn't trouble Palni too deeply. Maybe he'll wind up being crazy himself when he's older, in some way no one else could ever get. He's not going to demand the two of them understand him if that happens. Or his sister or his brother, if they wind up cracked. You don't have to completely understand someone to get along with them.</p><p>Anyway, they seem to understand each other completely. If that's what it's like, maybe it's for the best that most people never have that. It's easy when they're cheering each other up, and Dad seems less tired and Uncle Torgrim less crazy, and both of them are getting things done and being useful. But when the other times come knocking and one of them's miserable, they're always miserable together.</p>
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